Such a wonderful state is attained through the grace of saints / The viraha (separation) state of the Brajvasis on seeing Uddhav Ji

Satsang of Pujya Shri Hit Premanand Govind Sharan Ji Maharaj. To listen to the full discourse, watch the video above.

Full Discourse

Vrindavaneswari tav padarvindm premik makrand rasau purnam hadya pitam madhupte smarta mugram nirvai param shital mayam param shital maya param sacchidanand ghan Premand swaroop navni nikunj mahmmahim param pavan shri Vrindavan dham

O Vrindavaneshvari, your lotus feet are full of the nectar of pure love. Remembering the beloved Madhupati, .. The supremely cool and pure form of eternal, blissful love, the Lord of the nikunj, the supremely sacred Shri Vrindavan Dham.

To the lotus feet of the dear divine couple of Shri Vrindavan Dham, the life-worshipped, dear life of Shri Priya Pritam, of all the sahachari sakhis, of the deer, animals, birds, trees and creepers, of Shri Yamuna, the queen of rasa, the queen of dust, and all the Brajvasi companions, I offer countless salutations, countless bows and countless namaskar. [clearing throat] Every moment, our life is being lost.

[clearing throat] Our breaths are counted and few, and each one of them is getting less. Just as no matter how tightly you hold the water in your cupped hands, it will eventually run out, so too our life and our breaths are running out. Just as a drop hanging on a leaf will one day break off and fall, so too, as soon as our life is complete, this body will be destroyed. Therefore, attain Bhagwat prapti (union with God) before the body is destroyed. If we do not attain Bhagwat prapti, but we try for it, then in our next birth we will be born into a wealthy, noble, devotional family, and again we will do Bhagwat bhajan and attain Bhagwat prapti.

But if we make no effort in this birth, then there are 83 lakh (8.3 million) yonis, and we will have to go through them. Only the human birth is the one in which we can attain Bhagwat prapti. In other yonis there is no kriyaman karma; there is only sanchit and prarabdh. In the human body there is kriyaman. You can do new karma, whether it is a sinful karma, a virtuous karma, or Bhagwat bhajan. Therefore, live a life dedicated to God with great care. Every single breath is very precious. Dedicate it to the name and form of Shyama Shyam.

Shripad Prabuddhanand Ji Maharaj says:

idam bhagwat arpana charit sarv satkarmana phal cha bhagwat padam bhujo subhakti mat sangte phalatma bhagwat katha ruchi shruti naam param phalam Madan mohno yajmaksha Vrindavane

Let the whole conduct of life be offered to God. The fruit of all good deeds is at the lotus feet of God. The fruit of association with true devotees is the love of devotion. The fruit of that is taste for the stories of God. The highest fruit of hearing is the Name.

O brother, the meaning of life is a life offered to God. Only this much was discussed: your life, your conduct, should be offered to God. Its fruit is satsang, the fruit of satsang is the lotus feet of God, and the fruit of those is the great devotion of a true devotee who has attained devotion at the lotus feet of God.

You will get the company of such people. If you have decided in your mind, "I belong to Priya Pritam, I am in the shelter of Priya Pritam," then you will get its fruit. You will get the company of great souls who have attained love at the lotus feet of God, great souls who are devoted to God. The fruit of that company will be the taste for the nectar of the stories of God, and you will feel that the stories of God are dearer to you than your own life. If you do not get satsang, you will feel that your day has been wasted. How will we pass our time? Let there be such an intoxication for satsang, such interest, such attachment. How will that come about?

Speaking of the company of great souls who are devoted to the lotus feet of God: when we keep the company of a devoted mahatma, heat, cold and rain no longer feel bothersome. Only the discussion of God is heard. Truly, my heart was deeply distressed on the day when it was raining at Hit Dham, and all the saints were sitting and listening to the katha. Those of you who have been here a long time will remember: it was cold, it was raining, and yet not one person moved an inch. Only 25 people could sit inside, though 40 could have sat. Hundreds of people were sitting outside, singing bhajans while listening to the katha. At that time, the thought came to my heart: may there always be an arrangement so that listeners can hear the discussion of God.

So some well-wishers, who are true well-wishers, put the earnings of their whole lives into this. It was not built with donations or charity; they offered everything they had. They offered their lives, they offered everything. There have been such emotionally devoted bhakts. This is the great fortune we have received: to sit in the dust of the feet of Priya Pritam and hear satsang. If we have no interest in the discussion of Priya Pritam, then none of our efforts have borne any fruit. As this passage describes, the fruit of a life offered to God is the company of a great soul, and the fruit of the company of a great soul is interest in the katha of God.

Goswami Ji describes it this way, in the Ramcharitmanas:

teerthatan sadhan samudai jog virag gyan nipunai nana karm dharm vrat dana sanjam dum jap tap makh nana bhut daya dwij guru sevka vidya vinay vivek badhai jahan lagi sadhan ved bukhani sab kar phal hari bhakti Bhawani sab kar phal hari bhakti Bhawani

Pilgrimage, the many means of practice, yoga, renunciation, knowledge and skill, many kinds of karma, dharma, vows and charity, self-restraint, control of the senses, japa, tapas, many yajnas, compassion for all beings, service to the twice-born and to the guru, learning, humility and discernment, and all the other means the Vedas describe: the fruit of all of them, O Bhavani, is devotion to Hari. The fruit of all of them is devotion to Hari.

What is the fruit of undertaking pilgrimage, visiting holy places with the prescribed discipline? It is interest in the practice of attaining God: how to attain God, which path to take. The many means: yoga, dispassion, knowledge, skill; many karmas, dharma, vows, charity; self-restraint, that is, control of the senses; japa, tapas, many kinds of yajna; compassion for all beings; service to the Brahmin sages and obedience to the guru. Learning, humility and discernment: all of these are the fruits of this. The fruit of all of it is becoming devoted at the lotus feet of God with a motiveless devotion. The fruit of all the means the Vedas describe is love for the lotus feet of God, love for the Name of God, and becoming attached to listening to the katha of God's leela.

agar yah nahi to so sab dharm karm jar jau. Jahan na Ram pad pankaj bhav.
Without this, all dharma and karma burn to ash, where there is no feeling for the lotus feet of Ram.

If devotion to the Lord's feet has not arisen, if love has not happened, then all dharma and karma have become useless. The beautiful fruit of all sadhana is constant love for the Lord's lotus feet.

sab sadhan kar yah phal sundar prabhu pad pankaj priti nirantar
The beautiful fruit of all practices is constant love for the Lord's lotus feet.

The constant, sweet remembrance of the Lord's feet. If bhakti has not manifested, then all sadhana has become futile.

Bhagavan is saying, na ved na tapsa na danen na chejyaya shakya evam vidho drisht drisht mam yatha
"Not by the Vedas, not by austerity, not by charity, not by sacrifice can I be seen by you as you see Me now."

bhakt tyaya sako arjun gyaat drisht tatv prave cha param tap
"Only through exclusive devotion can I be known, seen in truth, and entered, O Arjuna, scorcher of foes."

This is a very profound statement. He is telling Arjuna that I cannot be seen the way you are seeing Me right now through Vedic recitation, austerity, charity, yajna or grand rituals. How then, Maharaj? He says: only through exclusive devotion can you see Me, and you can know Me through My knowledge. You can understand Me in essence.

You can attain My knowledge, and realization of the essence is possible. You can know Me: who I am, how much I am, what I am like. By what? Through exclusive devotion. Only through exclusive devotion.

Bhagavan himself is speaking: na sadh mam yogo na saamm dharm Uddhav na dhyaap tyago yatha bhakti mamta bhakt mein grah shraddha atma priy sata bhakti pat man nishtha supaka sambhwat
"Uddhava, I am not won by yoga, nor by Sankhya, nor by dharma, nor by self-study, austerity or renunciation. I am won only by devotion, by faith-filled, single-hearted bhakti. I am dear to the sants. Devotion purifies, even one born of a dog-eater."

If anyone can bring Me under their control, it is devotion that can. Without devotion, I cannot be controlled through yoga, knowledge, dharma, self-study, austerity or renunciation.

I am dear to the sants. I can be won only through faith and devotion. If unwavering, exclusive devotion awakens even in the heart of a chandal, he too becomes one who purifies the world. And if there is no devotion, whoever a person is: jin hari bhagat hriday nahi aa jivit 100 saman te prani
"Those whose hearts have no devotion to Hari are like corpses while still living."

Those who are living corpses, in whose hearts devotion has not come. And even in the heart of a chandal, if devotion arises:

aho pachto gar y jigya warte naam tyam wo
"Oh, even one who cooks dog-meat is greater, if Your name dwells on his tongue. He is the highest, the greatest in the three worlds."

The one on whose tongue the Lord's name is moving, and whose heart takes refuge at the Lord's lotus feet, is the highest and greatest in the three worlds.

So when Bhagavan, out of compassion, gives satsang and one understands that offering one's life to Bhagavan is the path, its fruit is: attraction to the Lord's name, attachment to the Lord's dham, and attachment to the Lord's leela and katha. Shripad Prabhund Ji Maharaj says: the fruit is taste for the nectar of Bhagavat katha. And what is the fruit of hearing that katha?

Shruti says:
shruti naam param phalam Madan mohno yaj Vrindavan
"The supreme fruit of hearing is to see Madan Mohan in Vrindavan."

One sees with one's own eyes Madan Mohan Shri Lalji and Mohini Shri Priyaji in Vrindavan. Here, the event happens. Here, the event happens. The Yugal Sarkar, embracing, are not visible to our sight in an unmanifest form, but they manifest. And whoever they see as "this is My exclusive one," just that. They only look for exclusiveness. The moment they see "this is My exclusive one," the veil of maya is lifted and realization happens. No great effort is needed here.

This is the dham. Here it is only about exclusiveness, and that exclusiveness comes only through the company of exclusive rasik mahapurushas.

Shripad, out of kindness, is asking: then what is his state? This is a very beautiful point. If this is understood: where the feeling of surrendering to Bhagavan arises, the compassionate Lord, moved, gives the company of his devotee mahatma.

maha sangst durlabh ho yah durlabh baat hai
"The company of the great is rare; this is a rare matter."

Bhagavan, pleased, gives money, property, a beautiful wife, and sons. But that is not the point.

sut dara dhan lakshmi papiyon ke ghar ho. Sant samagam hari katha tulsi durlabh do
"Children, spouse, wealth and fortune are found even in the homes of sinners. But the company of sants and the katha of Hari, says Tulsi, these two are rare."

So what are the two rare things? Mahat sangst durlabh ho, samatma su durlabh
"The company of the great is rare, and a soul of equal vision is very rare."

A sant immersed in love for Bhagavan has arrived, one from whom gold, women and fame have folded their hands and departed, or who has destroyed attachment to these three. Through the company of such a Bhagavat-loving mahatma, one gets attachment to Bhagavat katha, attachment to Bhagavan's name, attachment to Bhagavan's conduct, and the fruit is realization of Priya-Pritam in Vrindavan.

Even if you live in America, that very Vrindavan will shine before your eyes, and you will have darshan of Priya-Pritam performing wondrous vihar in Vrindavan. Then what is the state? What then is the state?

So it is said:
jagrit swapna sushupti nitya milno nityanuragoti nityachyam naveen divya vayso nitya smaro madini nityanya vichitra kelno nitya vrindti shri Vrindavan nagar bhajman taav nityo
"In waking, in dream, and in deep sleep: eternal union, eternal love, eternally undecaying, ever-new divine youth, the eternal intoxicating Cupid, eternal wondrous pastimes, eternal Vrinda. O mind, worship the eternal Shri Vrindavan Nagar."

Whether his state is waking, dreaming or deep sleep, that union is a great festival. Is he always in union?

Yesterday someone asked: "Maharaj, if your last moment comes and Priya-Pritam asks what your final wish is, what would you ask for?"

Maharaj Ji answered: Priya-Pritam will ask us what our final wish is? You are speaking backwards. We will ask Them: this body, named Premanand, is about to be released. Now You tell us, what is Your last service? Command us. What can this body do as its final service? What does that poor thing know? Command us: what final service can this body become? Because we are going to be absorbed in eternal service. So what final service can be rendered through this impermanent body? Whether you have understood it or not, I tell you truly, our wish is this: no wish to live, no wish to die, no wish for bhakti, no wish for shakti.

Would you say, "What are you talking about?" Understand this. When Nikunjeshwari has accepted us, should we still ask her to call us to the nikunj? Brother, she is our property. A wish is made for something that is not yet attained. Now it is not unattained. Now it is not unattained. We don't say this by the strength of our austerity or sadhana. So what is our final wish? That our Priya Pritam tell us, "Go and do this final service," and we tell them, "This very final service is already going on." What do you think you understand? You who have only studied up to class nine.

There is no sense at all in speaking. They make someone give a discourse who has no knowledge. They make someone answer questions who cannot do so. Bhukam karoti vachalam pangum langhate giri, yat kripa tamaham vande.

Bhukam karoti vachalam pangum langhate giri, yat kripa tamaham vande.

He whose grace makes the mute speak and the lame cross mountains.

Someone whose body cannot walk even ten steps is made to do service. This is their final wish. This is their final wish. Our wish, when did it end? There were some wishes when we left home, and those wishes were destroyed. How will it be maintained? Who will look after us? How will the goal be reached? Those were some wishes. These aren't really wishes.

Lust, anger, greed: for me these are attacks. These are not wishes; they are their assault. He handled that assault. He fulfilled the wishes. Now the only wish that remains is this:

Man man ki ruchi jaan ne vidhi anusare he Yugal Sarkar, aapki ichha jaankar.

Knowing the taste of each mind and following your way, O Yugal Sarkar, knowing your wish.

[speaking in a nasal voice] This life should remain devoted only to you. What is your wish? Let me know your wish. Following the taste of each mind, may I be an instrument in your hand, moving according to your liking. That is all. What is our wish? Now our wish is the wish of Shri Shyama Shyam.

And to be honest, we are the form of Shyama Shyam's wish. If you can understand, understand. We are the form of Shyama Shyam's wish. Whatever their wish is, that is the activity taking place. What do you know? Whether it is bright or dim, it is only the wish of Shyama Shyam.

So what is the state of jagrit, swapn, sushupt, nitya milano nityanuragoti? In waking, in dream, in deep sleep, an eternal festival keeps going on. Who? Milanotsava chhin chhin viharat sang. Now this is a matter of the pure state. Whether everyone understands it or not, as Harivansh Mahaprabhu says:

Jagrit swapn sushupt mein radha pada chhata,
ab baikunthe narakeva mam gati radha bina.

In waking, dream, and deep sleep, the splendour of Radha's feet. Now, whether in Baikunth or hell, my only refuge is without Radha.

How will you understand waking, dream, and deep sleep, the eternal festival of union, without Radha? In waking, in dream, in deep sleep, the eternal festival of union: whatever form you take, whatever matter you bring, it is you who are coming. There is no one else. Eternal love keeps growing, because the nature of love is:

Pratikshan vardhamanam.

Ever-increasing, moment by moment.

And one's life is spent in eternal wonder. Nitya ashcharya — how can that be? Nitya ashcharyamay jivan, nitya ashcharyamay navinam jivan. What do you understand right now? Ramakrishna Paramahamsa was told he had cancer in his throat and must stop speaking. He said, "My rule is that I will speak for two hours." We speak all day. We keep speaking all day. Sometimes we give discourses to you, sometimes we tell them to Shri Ji. Do you know what our name is? Priyavadini. Our service is only this: to speak sweetly, to make everyone happy, and to bring joy to Priya Pritam. That is our service.

Do you know what we will do when we get there? This is what we will do. Yes, in front of them we will sing their praises and dance. We will charm them. We will bring them joy. All other services are secondary. Our principal service is singing. We do not have the art of melody and rhythm. But svayam sakala kala sushila na kada sura madhur shyam. We are saying this openly so that you understand that our purpose is only the attainment of Priya Pritam. This entire discussion has one sole aim: the attainment of Priya Pritam. If you walk the path to the attainment of Priya Pritam, you will develop attachment.

Attachment to saints. When you become attached to saints, you will develop interest in Priya Pritam. Interest in Priya Pritam. Interest in their stories. Interest in their name. They will meet you here. They meet very quickly here.

Kadava khelanto braj nagar vith su hridayam haranto, Shri Radha Brajpati kumaro.

Playing sometimes in the streets of Braj, stealing hearts: Shri Radha and the prince of Braj's lord.

Suddenly, one day, they will come, playing, in their youthful, wondrous splendour and unmatched grace. The sound of anklets rings, your gaze falls, and you see the Yugal Sarkar. You will be overwhelmed with bliss. This is Vrindavan Dham. What good deed is it by which Priya Pritam grant darshan? What austerity is it by which Priya Pritam remove the veil of maya? It is not charity, merit, pilgrimage, vows, or fasting. It is the worship of God-loving mahatmas.

Shri Harivansh prasiddh dharm samajh nal tap samjho, Shri Harivansh kripa seva dharman jap.

Understand the renowned dharma of Shri Harivansh as austerity. Through the grace of Shri Harivansh, serve, and chant.

Follow the instructions of those who are immersed in the love of Priya Pritam, remember their name, and meditate on them. By the fruit of this good deed, kadava khelanto. This is the principle: keep the lotus feet of Shyam Shyama close. Some day they will capture your heart, and at that very moment you will see the Priya Pritam of your heart coming toward you.

Kal nikas kunj thade bhae bhuja parasparn ansh,
Shri Radha Vallabh mukh kamal nirakh nayan Harivansh.

Yesterday they came out and stood in the nikunj, arms around each other's shoulders. Harivansh's eyes gazed upon the lotus face of Radhavallabh.

I am telling you the truth.

We never wished that Shri Ji would give us darshan. We never wished for it. We had only one wish: we don't know whether we are worthy of your darshan, but may your remembrance never slip away. That has been the goal of our life. May your bhajan never slip away. May your contemplation never slip away. We had said this to our Guru Ji too. One day this topic came up, long ago, when Pujya Maharaj Ji was residing in Ladli Kunj. That was 25 or 26 years ago. So we said, "Maharaj Ji, we never wished for darshan of God." Our only wish was that not even a second of bhajan should be lost.

So the Guru said, this itself is called the darshan of Bhagavan. Everything happens in this. The subject is bhajan, and here, after the evening aarti, when that prayer is sung: chandra mite, dinkar mite, mite triguna vistar. In it is the line bisri ho na. This is a very important point. Bisri ho na, bisari ho: this is the boon I ask of you, that I never forget you, whether awake, in dream, or in deep sleep. Hit Ji Maharaj says this in the Radhika pad, as milanotsava. Maharaj Ji says it here too: whenever one is awake, there is union; in dream, there is union; in deep sleep, there is union. And nityanuraga: the love grows every day, and every day it becomes new. His way of life becomes new and wondrous every day. How can this be? How can it be? Can it happen that the beloved.. What is not possible? Ever wondrous, ever new, ever joyful in love, ever playing wondrous mutual games, and always surrounded by the circle of sakhis, one attains the Priya-Pritam.

He becomes included in the sakhi mandali, and in the boundless ocean of happiness of the Priya-Pritam, the boundless ocean of happiness. Uddhav ji [clearing throat sound] came to Braj carrying Bhagavan's message. Seeing Bhagavan weep, Uddhav ji wondered: for whom does Bhagavan weep? Bhagavan placed Uddhav's hand in his own and said, "Uddhav, these Vrajvasis are crazy. In love they weep. We also know how to weep. If we want to stop our weeping, go and explain this to these lovers of Braj." Uddhav's heart swelled with great pride.

Bhagavan himself says: go. Hari Gokul ki preeti chalai.

Listen, Uddhav. Mohi na visarat ye Brajvasi sukhdai.

Listen, Uddhav, I cannot forget these Vrajvasis, who give me such supreme happiness.

Look, Bhagavan says he cannot forget them. Whenever he looks, the Vrajvasis are all he sees in his mind: sometimes the sakhas, sometimes Mother and Father, sometimes the Vrajvasis, sometimes the gopis. What can he do? That is why he weeps.

Yah chit hot jaun main ab yahan nahin man laagat.

My mind wants to go; here, my mind does not settle.

Gopi gwal gaay ban charan ati dukh paayo tyagat.

The gopis, cowherd boys and cows, grazing in the forest, suffered greatly in my absence.

What should I do? The mind wants to fly and reach there at once. We miss our Braj, the Ganga, the gopas, the sakhas and the gopis so much. And to tell you the truth, his stomach has never been full, even today. He said to Uddhav ji: "When Mother would scold us and feed us butter, mishri and roti with such love, that love is not in Mathura. They say 56 bhog is offered in Mathura, but I do not get that love. Where is the butter and roti, where is Yashoda's feeding with love?" "No, not that much. Have more, Lala, have more. Who will feed me like that?" Surdas says that hearing Shyam's words, [..] Uddhav ji is laughing. How can the Lord of countless crores of universes speak so, overcome by love? Uddhav, go to Braj. You are very wise.

We, without the gopikas, are in separation. Remove their sorrow. Go, spread the light of knowledge.

Uddhav ji felt that Bhagavan, out of attachment, was grieving and brooding. So Bhagavan thought: "Yatha mam prapadyante," I will go and teach knowledge, and they will understand.

Jo gyan parbun ko jo sukh pave nari, purn Brahm sakal parichay kar dare moh bisari.

(As captioned; roughly:) The happiness of knowledge, the women who know the complete Brahman, lay down their attachment.

[clearing throat sound] To tell the truth, Bhagavan wants to colour Uddhav in the colour of his own love. Bhagavan says to Uddhav: you have complete knowledge, you have the knowledge of yoga. Those poor cowherd women do not have knowledge of the complete Brahman here. So go, and introduce me to them.

If she forgets me and stops weeping, then the matter is settled, and I will not weep. But if they weep, then Uddhav, you are my most capable friend. No friend of mine is greater than you.

Sakha praveen hamare tum ho, tum te nahin mahant.

You, Uddhav, are our most skilled friend; there is no greater mahant than you.

Sur Shyam hi karan patwat hoe aavego sant.

(As captioned; roughly:) Surdas says: for Shyam's sake, the saint will come.

O Uddhav, no friend of mine is more skilled than you. You are our exclusive beloved. You are a learned and great mahant. Your inner self is full of knowledge. That is why I am sending you. Go there and teach the gopis. Later he says: when you return, you will see what you become.

Udho man abhimaan badho.

Udho, pride grew in the mind.

When Bhagavan said this, pride in knowledge swelled in Uddhav's mind. He thought that today he would get the chance to display his knowledge before all the Vrajvasis and gopis.

Udhav man abhimaan badho, Jadupati jog jaan saancho. Nain aakaash chadho.

Uddhav's mind grew proud. He believed that yoga is the true knowledge of the Lord of the Yadus. His eyes rose to the sky.

He began to think: how truly great am I as a yogi, and how great a knower? Only Shri Krishna knows the truth, and that is why he is sending me. Kanhaiya is sending me, so I will remove the ignorance of the Braj gopis and light up knowledge within them. This pride grew in Uddhav's heart: "What do these Vraj women, these cowherd girls, know of Brahma-gyan? I will go and teach them." So his eyes rose to the sky.

"Eyes rising to the sky" means he became proud. His eyes became full of pride. Inwardly he praised himself, this false enjoyment. He thought: "I received knowledge from Brihaspati ji. Today my knowledge will be fulfilled. Bhagavan knows the truth, how great a yogi and knower I am. Now, filled with pride, I will go to Braj and teach there."

Aayesh maan liyo sir upar, Prabhu aagya parmaan.

I accept your command upon my head, Prabhu. Please give me your order.

Surdas prabhu Gokul pathvat main kyon kaho ki aan.

Surdas: Prabhu, why would you send me to Gokul? (Captioned text, roughly.)

Now Bhagavan himself is sending me, recognising me as his exclusive devotee. So I will go there and teach them knowledge.

Uddhav Ji mounted the chariot. You heard yesterday how swiftly he drove it. Uddhav Ji's attire is exactly Shri Krishna's attire. Uddhav sat in the chariot and set off for Braj, turning the chariot towards Braj. He left Mathura and took the road that goes from Mathura towards Braj Vrindavan. How is the chariot's movement? Uddhav, that crown, the peacock-feather crown, and that pitambar, which is the blessed prasad of the Lord, and his body is dark anyway. Uddhav looks entirely like Shyamsundar. That crown and that pitambar are the same as the dark Shyam form. The only difference is that the Bhrigupad mark is missing, and there is neither the Kaustubha gem nor the Bhrigu mark. Otherwise Uddhav looks exactly like Shri Krishna, dark-bodied, wearing the peacock crown and pitambar in the same way. Only on the chest are the Kaustubha gem and the Bhrigupad mark absent.

Uddhav Ji Maharaj had great pride in his knowledge.

moko hari pathyo mero hi bhajan thaap maya sukh jhutho madhuban te chale tab Gokul niyrano dekht braj log Shyam ayo anumanyo

Hari sent me to establish only my bhajan; the joys of maya are false. Leaving Madhuban, when he neared Gokul and the people of Braj saw him, they supposed that Shyam had come.

What is Uddhav Ji's pride about? If I were not such a supremely wise man, the Lord would not have sent me among his beloved ones in Braj. I will go, establish pure bhajan, and come back. Pure bhajan and knowledge: all the joys of maya are false. "I" and "mine", "you" and "yours", all of it is false. Only because of identification with the body (deh-abhimaan) does duality appear. Otherwise, tat tvam asi: you are that.

Why are you crying for them? Pure knowledge, pure bhajan. He left Madhuban, and when he entered Braj, people began to guess whether Shri Krishna was coming. It seems Shri Krishna has returned. So the sakhas run. Seeing a chariot just like that one,

vaiso hi rath dekht sab kahat haras bani suraj prabhu se lagat taruni muskani

Seeing the chariot just like that one, everyone spoke with joy; the young women smiled as if they were touched by the Sun Lord.

Among themselves, all the gopis said, "It seems to us our Shri Krishna has come. It is the same chariot as before, and Shyam, wearing the peacock crown and pitambar, appears from afar as if Bhagwan Shri Krishna has come." Nand Gop rushed forward joyfully to receive him.

Nand Baba was overjoyed. "My boy has come!" He came out and looked. Meanwhile, Yashoda Maiya heard that Shri Krishna had come, and ran like a madwoman.

mera lala aavat Balram Shyam sunat daud chale bam mukut jhalak Pitambar man man anuragi nischay aae gopal aandit bhai bal mit virah ko janjal jot te kal jo jo sun raha hai bhage sabke virah dukh mit rahe hain

"My darling is coming, with Balram and Shyam." Hearing this, they ran. The crown's glimmer and the pitambar, the hearts filled with love: surely Gopal has come. The children were delighted, and the tangle of separation was undone. Whoever hears this runs, and everyone's sorrow of separation is dissolving.

prabhu aa gaye prabhu aa gaye nischay aae wo nischay prabhu hi aae hain kyonki mor mukut dharan kiye dur se dekh Pitambar dharan kiye hue hain gadgad tan pulak bhyo mukut pit basan nayo man mein kachu soch bhyo Shyam

The Lord has come, the Lord has come, surely he has come. Because he wears the peacock crown and, seen from afar, is wearing the pitambar, bodies thrilled with joy. The crown and the new yellow garment: in the mind, some thought arose about Shyam.

As they drew near, the peacock crown and pitambar were the same, the same dhoti, the same dark form. But on coming close, "No, no, this is someone else. It is not Shyamsundar. Friends, don't run. This is not Shyamsundar. He is someone wearing his costume, someone of his colour. If it were Shyamsundar, Haldhar would be with him, Balram Ji would be there." Everyone ran and ran and came to Uddhav Ji's chariot. The chariot is the same, all the equipment is the same. It seems as if the chariot's arrangement is the same, but its meaning is different.

vaso hi rath vaso hi sab saj mano bahri bichri kachu man suphlak sut ayo brajaj

The same chariot, the same equipment, as if they were deaf and had considered something in their minds. The son of Suphalak has come to Braj.

It is the same chariot and the same equipment. We feel that Akrur Ji was shamed, and that he brought our Shri Krishna back.

pehle gaman gayo le hari ko param param sumati ro ratiraj ajhu kiya kaha ki chahat hai yate adhik kans ko kaj

First he went and took Hari away. With the highest wisdom, Ratiraj.. What does he now intend to do? He wants more of Kansa's work.

"What does he want to do now? He left Balram there and brought Shri Krishna here. What is he trying to do?" Someone thinks: this is Akrur Ji's chariot, Akrur Ji brought Shyamsundar. But when they reached close, there was no charioteer. Only Uddhav Ji, with no charioteer. Uddhav Ji himself, because he had a very private conversation to have.

In every house in Braj the news spread that someone had come from Mathura. "Someone has come to Braj today." Someone asks, "Who has come?" "It is that Akrur, come again." "Now what will he do? Will he take us away by force? He already took our treasure of life. Why has Akrur come now?" People talk in such ways. Someone says, "Look, look, that chariot is coming." "Tell us truly: has the Hari who shows mercy to the poor returned?" Everyone ran together. When they got close to the chariot, the sakhis gathered to ask, and then Udho showed himself. Recognising him, and knowing he was not the Lord, they bowed their heads.

chal mil samiti sakhi puchhan ko tab udho daras dikhayo tab pehchan jaan prabhu ko bhrat karn jor sirnayo

Gathering together, the sakhis came to ask. Then Udho showed himself. Recognising him, they knew he was not the Lord, and they bowed their heads in devotion.

"Oh, this is not the Lord. I have heard this is the Lord's friend, Uddhav Ji." All the sakhajan bowed to Uddhav Ji. From the chariot they asked Uddhav Ji, "Is Hari well? Is our Shri Krishna well?" Everyone who came was asking about Shri Krishna's well-being. Uddhav Ji stopped the chariot at Nand Baba's door, and a crowd gathered at Nand Baba's place, because Shri Krishna's devotees are in separation. Blessed are those who have developed intimacy with the Lord.

What is intimacy? It means, "I cannot live any longer without you." Then, these people played with the Lord, ate with him, laughed with him, and danced with him. They lived with the Lord. How can we describe the glory of their separation?

pran hamare tab hi le gayo ab ki karan ayo main janie baat sunat prabhu kripa karn uth dhayo

He took our life-breath then; why has he come now? I want to know the matter. Hearing this, the Lord rose to bestow his grace.

Earlier he had taken our lives. Now why has Uddhav Ji come to take anything? Someone said, "He has come to show grace to us, because we were all burning in separation. At least he is wearing Shyamsundar's blessed garments. We are getting darshan of his garments."

yah to Shyam rang wale hain. Hari rath jatan jare ki anup dikhave ji mag Krishna gaye ut hi te ave ut hi te ave sakhan bulawe dekho man hi bichri mani mukut kiran tan pit basan ko Govind ke anuhari soi abhushan lage dekhn jab lagre aae Udhav ji jane mukh ko milane Krishna sandesh pathae

This one is dark-coloured like Shyam. Hari's chariot, the one that brought tears of separation, shows the unique path. Shri Krishna went that way and comes back from there, and from there calls the sakhas. Look, think in your mind: the jewelled crown's radiance on the body, the yellow garment, resembling Govinda. The same ornaments appear, as Uddhav came, and to meet the face of the one who sent Krishna's message.

Running, running, the sakhas and the Braj residents came, the elderly too. They touch Uddhav Ji's garments, because they are Shri Krishna's prasad. Someone kisses them, someone embraces them to the heart, someone touches them. How much love there is for our Lord! Everyone is touching the prasad garments he is wearing.

The true matter is this: if even a particle of the love that the Lord's own devotees have awakens in us, then our life belongs to them. Bhagavan says, "I belong to them." We forgot this and got caught in the illusion of the world.

Nand Baba takes Uddhav's hand and leads him into the palace. A servant washes Uddhav's feet. Nand Baba seats him on a couch, fans him, and lovingly asks, "Uddhav, what must be our condition, we Brajvasis? How will we go on living without Shri Krishna? And the Baba in whose lap Shri Krishna played, what must his condition be?"

Our people are only leaning on a support. They have barely seen anything. They only lean on his name as their support. Then it seems that a life without the Lord is no life at all. What is the use of such a life?

But look carefully at Baba's condition. He in whose lap Shri Krishna sat, what must his condition be? What must be the condition of that Maiya who, from morning till evening, is busy only with her Lala's care? What must be the condition of the cows? What must be the condition of the cowherd friends? What must be the condition of the gopis, who exist only for him and live only through him?

Baba asks, "Tell me, do you ever remember our Maiya Yashoda?"

Yashoda is absorbed in constantly recalling her son's childhood deeds.

Maiya is so crazed that she doesn't even know Uddhav has come. She keeps saying, "Lala, stop, eat a little butter and then go." Baba is showing you her condition: "Look, he has gone to Mathura!"

Then, distraught, she breaks down in tears. Sometimes she goes to the cradle, the same cradle in which Shri Krishna used to swing. She looks and sees that it is empty. [sound of clearing throat] Shri Krishna has gone. Every moment there are new and new leelas of the Lord, and lost in those very leelas, she sometimes calls out in anguish, sometimes runs after him, and sometimes laughs. Maiya Yashoda's condition is most exalted.

Uddhav is trembling. He came carrying the pride of knowledge, but on seeing the condition of these lovers, he now beholds here the devotion of servitude, friendship and parental affection (dasya, sakhya, vatsalya).

Contemplating each and every leela of Shri Krishna, Nand Baba and Yashoda Maiya shed tears from their eyes. The flood of love for their son was so great that milk began to flow from Yashoda Maiya's breasts. Uddhav saw Yashoda's condition and Nand Baba's, and saw how immense their attachment to Shri Krishna was. Seeing this, he began to grow distraught with love. Until now, love had not come to Uddhav. But when he saw Baba's parental love and Maiya's love, Uddhav became absorbed in bliss and said:

"O Baba, there is no doubt that you two are the most fortunate of all embodied beings. You are worthy of praise. For you, the creator of the whole moving and unmoving world, the giver of knowledge, the sovereign Lord, such parental affection, such love, such son-feeling in your heart, I have seen for the first time. Such love for my Lord! But Baba, we have come to tell you something."

These two are the seed and womb of the universe: Rama and Mukunda, the Purusha and the Pradhana, who pervade all beings, and who are the distinct knowers. These two are the ancient ones.

"Baba, these Shri Krishna and Balram are verily Bhagavan, the ancient Purusha, the creators of the whole world, and they themselves become the form of the world. That is, both the material cause and the instrumental cause are the Lord. Shri Krishna is the Purusha, the principal one, and Balram is the Pradhana, the primal nature. These two enter all bodies and give them life. Baba, the jiva is extraordinarily distinct, being of the nature of knowledge, and because these two regulate it, they are called Ishvara, the Controller.

If a jiva, at the time of death, keeps its pure mind fixed on the Lord even for a single moment, all its karmic impressions and desires are destroyed, and it quickly becomes radiant like the sun, becomes Brahman-filled, and attains the supreme state. And your mind is fixed on that very Bhagavan.

He is Bhagavan. He is the soul of all. He is the supreme cause. Only to fulfil the longings of his devotees and to lift the burden of the earth has he manifested in a human body. For you both to have such love for him, O great souls, what action remains for you to do?

Bhaktavatsal, the crest jewel of the Yadu dynasty, Bhagavan Shri Krishna Chandra, said, 'I will come, and I will delight you both.' When he killed Kansa, the enemy of all the Yadavas, in the wrestling arena, and as he was departing from you, he said, 'I will come to Braj.'

He will make that promise true. Nand Baba, Yashoda Maiya, you both are supremely fortunate. Do not grieve. You will see Shri Krishna right beside you, for just as fire always pervades wood, he is always present in the hearts of all beings."

Yet Uddhav here described his knowledge. Look, Baba: because there is no attachment to a body, the Lord has neither a dear one nor a non-dear one. This is knowledge, but it is not only this. If you shed even a single tear for Shri Krishna, Shri Krishna will be sold to you.

This is knowledge. When this knowledge arises, tears do not come. So we bow to this knowledge. But we prefer that ignorance which feels: "Who is this, my beloved Lal? What is all this? Whoever they are, however many there are, however they are, they are mine. They are my own dear ones." Blessed, blessed indeed are the rasik mahapurushas who, wiping out even such knowledge, have created attachment, saying, "My beloved Lal." Changing a worldly person is easy, but changing a jnani is very difficult. This Braj transforms even the jnanis.

Look, Uddhav Ji is showing off his knowledge. He is saying that no one is dear to the Lord. He has come back after seeing the gopis, who were weeping. He has come back after seeing them weep, and he still cannot understand. There, Krishna is weeping, and here these gopis are weeping. Neither is anyone dear to him, nor is anyone disliked by him. The mind will not find happiness in the idea that no one is dear to him. Listen, there is no one who loves you like him. I tell you truly: if you come to know even a little how much the Lord loves you, you will find that no one loves like him. Every master has one quality: he wants his servant to be free of fault and full of virtue.

But our Master is such that, even with thousands of faults, he never abandons us. When you look at the nature of the Lord, what use is all this knowledge and wisdom? It exists only to free us from attachment to the world. In love for the Lord, it is not needed at all. My Lord, if you only come to know the nature of the Lord, you will just keep weeping. When you consider your own lowliness and the greatness of the Lord, you feel: being so great, how does he accept someone so lowly? It is said that he has no one dear and no one disliked, but that is not so. I do not say this as mere theory; I speak from experience.

He loves very much. Even if someone chants the naam a little, does a little bhajan, or takes even a little shelter, he loves them. Still, the karma of our countless births must be borne; that is the principle: "bhoktavyam kritam karma shubhashubham." But whoever does even a little bhajan, he wipes out their karmas completely, and the Lord bestows supreme happiness. The Lord looks on everyone equally. Yet even with an equal gaze, he takes sides. He takes the side of his devotees and comes under the control of his lovers.

In the Lord's view there is no one's own and no stranger. Those who feel a sense of belonging to the Lord, the Lord also feels a sense of belonging to. Those who do not feel that belonging must bear the consequences of their karma. For those for whom the Lord is like a brother in the form of time, there is neither high nor low. The Lord said this to Uddhav Ji: "I do not love my own body as much, nor my own self, nor Lord Shankar, nor my Lakshmi Ji, as much as I love my exclusive devotees."

The principle of knowledge is one thing; the principle of devotion is another. The Lord is equal to all. That is a matter of knowledge. Yet, being equal, he takes the side of his devotee. Bhishma Ji was a great bhagwat, but he stood on the side of adharma, against the Pandavas. He had them placed on a bed of arrows, yet not one arrow ever pierced even one of the five Pandavas. The Lord is also partial: whoever takes refuge in him, the Lord takes their side. The Lord has neither mother nor father. Look, this is knowledge. Hearing these words, love dries up.

He has no one who is his own and no one who is other, and for him there is neither birth nor body. This is knowledge. He has no karma either. His actions are for establishing dharma, giving happiness to saints, and protecting sadhus. Just as the Lord took the Matsya avatar and the Vamana avatar, so he took the Krishna avatar. Too much knowledge about this is not good. He is unborn. In him there is no sattva, rajas, or tamas. Though he is beyond these qualities, in the play of his leela he accepts the three qualities and creates, sustains, and destroys the world.

Baba, just as children playing ghoomri pareta spin around, a person begins to whirl quickly and feels that the world is spinning. The trees seem to spin, but it is he who is spinning. In the same way, the one who truly does everything is the chitta. But because ego and intellect arise in it, it mistakenly takes them to be "I." Because of this, the jiva is crushed in the cycle of birth and death with a sense of doership. Baba, the Lord is not only your son. He is the soul of all beings. He is father, mother, master; he is everything. Baba, whatever is seen or heard, whether it relates to the past, the present, or the future, whether it is immovable or movable, great or small, it is not separate from Shri Krishna.

Everything is in Shri Krishna. Apart from Shri Krishna there is no thing that we could call a thing. Truly, everything is he. He alone is the ultimate truth. Uddhav Ji is describing this knowledge, which he received only by the grace of the Lord. But he was sent so that sugar could dissolve into this clear water. Right now it is clear water, Uddhav Ji. When the sugar of prem mixes in, the sharbat becomes sweet water. Uddhav, the dear friend of Shri Krishna, sets all these things aside. Everyone has such knowledge in the mind when they are on the path of the Lord, but they all get forgotten.

That is why Bhai Ji has a pad: "Make us intellectless. O Lord, give us just this much: that my Ladli Lal, sitting alone, may weep, talk with him, and pamper him. There is no state greater than this. There is no state greater than this." This is the fruit of all sadhanas, all knowledge, meditation, and vrat: that just this much attachment arises for my Ladli Lal. Calling out his name, weeping, calling to him, may we fix our chitta on him. That is all; there is no further expansion to it. This is prem. There is nothing more to it.

Only the rasiks sounded the banner of the one pad of love for Shyam and Shyama. Uddhav, the dear friend of Lord Shri Krishna, was speaking such things with Nand Baba, and the whole night passed. When the night was nearly over, the gopis got up, lit their lamps, and at the thresholds of their homes performed worship of Vastudev. They began with the sohni and started churning curd, just as the festive state of Braj was during the time of Lord Shri Krishna. The sound of milking cows began, the ghar-ghar sound of churning rose, and the gopis, singing auspicious songs of Shri Krishna, went on with their service. The gopis sing of the auspicious deeds of Lord Shri Krishna and keep churning the curd.

Its melodious sound was spreading through all of Braj. Slowly, the sun rose. The women of Braj saw a golden chariot standing at Nand Baba's door. They began asking one another, "Whose chariot is this?" One gopi said, "Has Akrur come back again, the one who fulfilled Kans's purpose? He is the one who took our lotus-eyed, dearer-than-life Shyamsundar from here to Mathura. Will he take us there and have us perform the pind-daan for his dead master Kans? What could be his purpose in coming here now?"

The young women of Braj were talking among themselves. At that very moment, Uddhav ji arrived, having finished his daily rites.

Parikshit: The gopis' body, mind and life are all in Shri Krishna. The gopis' gaze is on Shyam. Wherever they look, even within their own bodies, they see Shyamsundar.

Shyam tan Shyam man Shyam hai hamaro dhan aatho jam udho hamen Shyam hi so kam hai Shyam ha Shyam jie Shyam binu na andhe ki sheela kari adhar Shyam Ram naam hai.

Shyam is my body, Shyam is my mind, Shyam is my wealth through all eight watches of the day. Udho, only Shyam matters to us. I live for Shyam; without Shyam, the blind man's staff, the support, is the name of Shyam-Ram.

The gopis' body is Shyamsundar. Their mind is Shyamsundar. Their wealth is Shyamsundar.

Their whole being rests in Shyamsundar through all eight watches of the day. Shyam alone is what they live for; without Shyam, there is nothing in heart or mind. Everything has become Shyamsundar. "Shyam" means the young woman of Braj, which means Shyamsundar. Just as a blind man's only support for walking is his stick, so the mind, intellect, consciousness, ego and body are all Shyamsundar. Shyam is their goal, Shyam is their understanding, and Shyam is their lord of life. Shyam gives joy, and Shyam is the abode of splendour. What a state! Their goal is Shyam, their understanding is Shyam, and their lord of life is Shyam. Joy comes from Shyam, splendour comes from Shyam, and the gopis are full of Shyam. They all gathered together and saw a chariot standing there. "Who has come?"

Just then, Uddhav ji, having finished his daily rites, was seen coming toward them from the front, emerging from Baba's house. He is Shri Krishna's servant Uddhav. His form and dress were those of Shri Krishna: the same lotus-petal eyes, long arms, a yellow garment on his body, a garland of lotus flowers around his neck, gem-studded earrings, and a smile on his lotus face. Wearing a yellow garment and a peacock-feather crown, the gopis began to say, "To look at, he is like Shyamsundar, but he is not. Who is this? Where has he come from? Why has he put on clothes like Shri Krishna's?" All the gopis were eager to learn who he was.

All the gopis, who have taken refuge at the lotus feet of the Lord of sacred fame, wanted to know: who is he? When Uddhav ji came to know that he had come for them, and that he is the dear friend of our life's beloved Shri Krishna, he went to where all the gopis were seated. His heart was drowned in the Lord's love, and his eyes were intoxicated by the form of Shyamsundar. When Uddhav ji came near, the gopis greeted him with their eyes. A lover has no time to bow his head. Whom would he bow to? They are absorbed. They gave a slight greeting with their eyes and spread out a seat.

Uddhav ji sat down. Then the conversation between Uddhav ji and the gopis began. We do pray this much: that this birth may have meaning. However it may be, may he become dear to us; however it may be, may we become his support. Let just one thing be in the heart: whatever I am, I am yours. Apart from you, I have no one. Brother, let this feeling come. Devotion, knowledge, yoga and sadhana all have one fruit: we do not know whether we are worthy of you or not. Just this: you are mine. Just this: you are mine. Apart from you, I have no one.

Let this much come. Sadhana is being done for just this much. Only this:

dusro na koi mere to Giridhar gopal dusro na koi

There is no other for me; my only one is Girdhar Gopal. There is no other.

Let no other thought come into my mind. Let no other take possession of my heart. There is only one thing, my Lord: whatever I am, I am yours, and you are mine. Through this, the attainment of Bhagwan happens. Our only strength is to weep. What strength can the powerless have? For some it is the strength of sadhana, for some the strength of austerity, and for us the strength is only to weep. If you ask us, "What do you have?" our answer is weeping, just weeping.

The second thing: I can weep for you. Even that is by your grace. Even that we cannot do ourselves. It is only because you show grace that weeping for you comes. Just this much is the attainment of Bhagwan. All this running around is only the cleansing of the intellect. Attainment of Bhagwan is only this much: that I am yours, and you are mine. O Lord, whatever you say, that is what it is. Do not hold any hope of us that we will become anything for you. Just be as you are, and let us be yours. Make us into whatever you wish. I am yours. The matter will reach the heart only when you first begin with speech.

O Lord, O Master, I am yours. As I am, I am yours. Then it will come into the heart, and once it is in the heart, you will be free of worry. You will be fearless and free of anxiety. He wants nothing else. What does he want? What does a child want? The child need only say, "You are my father, you are my mother." Whoever has wandered here and there by mistake should return. That is all he wants. In this line, we have forgotten:

janani Janak bandhu sutara tan dhan dham sud parivara

Mother, father, kin, children, body, wealth, home, and dear family.

Gather it up. Gather up the mistake and place it at the Lord's feet.

That is it: the attainment of Bhagwan is done. See for yourself. Very soon, he whom great sages cannot find even in meditation will appear before you, smiling. The rest of the discussion has come.

Shri Radha Vallabh Lal

This text is taken from the video's auto-generated subtitles, so there may be word errors. For the authentic words, please listen to the video.

Original video: Shri Hit Radha Kripa (YouTube)