I have fallen into depression. How do I overcome the fear of death?

A private conversation with Pujya Shri Hit Premanand Govind Sharan Ji Maharaj at Shri Hit Radha Keli Kunj, Vrindavan. Sadhaks bring their questions about their life and sadhana, and Maharaj Ji resolves them.

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Robin Singh ji from Delhi, Radhe-Radhe, Radhe-Radhe. Maharaj Ji, Gurudev Bhagwan, before I heard you my life was wasted in worldly pleasures and desires. But after hearing you I learnt that the purpose of human life is attaining God (Bhagwat prapti). Now it feels as if I have spent 55 years of my life in vain. Over the last three years I have had two major surgeries, Maharaj Ji, and because of them I have passed through great pain and fallen into depression. I am taking medicine for it, but I cannot accept it. I cannot accept the surgeries and the pain, so I remain caught up in them, and I have to face fear and dread. Maharaj Ji, in such a state, how can one walk the path to attaining God? No, no, you have accepted a very troubled state. Why do you worry, why do you go into depression? Depression is not a palace where you will live in joy. Worry, grief and fear: why do you dwell on useless thoughts in depression? Radha, Radha, Radha, Radha, Radha. What was to happen has happened. Whatever is to happen will be auspicious, by God's will. My true self is imperishable; the body is perishable.

The body is perishable, so why worry? Stay cheerful. But nobody wants to take up cheerfulness. Just sitting there, arre, at that time, chant Radha, Radha, do naam jap, and you will get well. Thinking about God is the medicine for depression. Take it as true:
hari smriti sarv vipad vimokshanam
Remembrance of God saves one from all calamities.
If you keep taking medicines, you will grow weaker, and they have side effects too. It is not like that. Now you have become habituated to sleeping pills. Without a sleeping pill you will not sleep. And after the nights you do sleep, your same depression and useless brooding start up again. So how will you get well this way?

Change your thinking. Eat healthy food, walk about, and listen to satsang. Relax your mind. You have been thinking so much that your mind is sliding into depression. Think differently. Why do you think useless thoughts, Bhagwan? What is the point of brooding over what has already happened? The way to stay cheerful while bearing every suffering is Radha, Radha, Radha, Radha. Why do you worry? You will die only when it is time to die. What is to happen cannot be stopped, so what is the use of brooding? Radha, Radha, Radha. O Bhagwan, I am in your refuge. But do not think, "O Bhagwan, cure me," and do not think that he will not cure you, because you did sinful deeds and must bear their consequences. If he cured you, then you chant ten or five malas. I have been a Baba since childhood. The great siddhas are not cured. Shri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa had cancer in his throat.

Hanuman Prasad Poddar Bhai ji had cancer in his abdomen. Swami Ram Sukhdas ji had cancer in his brahmarandhra. The great siddhas take their last births, and they have to suffer.
avashya mein bhoktuvi kritam karm susubham
Whatever karma has been done, good or bad, must certainly be borne.
Yes, he will give you the strength to bear it. Gurudev, prarabdh is a very bad prarabdh. When prarabdh comes, who has the strength to bear it, even among the great? Just as I sit before you smiling, my kidneys have failed, yet waves of joy keep surging in my heart.

We remain blissful. Why? Because we are connected to God. If we were not connected to God, our condition today would be ruined. We have no depression. If you talk to us, you will become free of depression. Talk to us and you will see that you will get well. Pradeep, how did you come to be in such a state? I am telling you, friend, stay absorbed in this: Radha, Radha, Radha, Radha, Radha. Chanting the name of the Lord and trusting in the Lord brings great joy. Now you people are troubled, turned away from God because of your ego. If you take refuge in God, then even salt and roti bring joy through contentment.

If you have contentment, you will be happy even eating salt and roti. Without contentment, even drinking rabri will leave you in depression. Nowadays people believe that money must come. No, brother. Happiness comes in the heart only when one meditates on God. Do not stay in depression now. Now it is right to chant naam and take the proper medicine. Chant naam, and slowly you will get well. Through naam jap, cross the fear of death. Radha said: the body was dropped and reached God. Friend, do not worry at all, be very cheerful. We say human life is given for joy, friend, but people understand joy as joy in clubs, joy in liquor, joy in chicken and such. Arre, joy is in Bhagwan, friend. This is what we want to tell you: there is no strength in meat. There is no strength in eating such filthy food. Eat sattvik food, do bhajan, become spiritual, and you will become strong. We speak truly: you people do not know how to live. If you learn to live, get up at 4 in the early morning, remember God's name, drink water, go and bathe, run 2 kilometres, do 10 to 15 minutes of dand baithak. See, the body will begin to shine. Eat pure food. Does one become healthy by eating pizza, burgers, chowmein and such?

This is all people are eating these days. If they are too lazy to make rotis, then whatever is put on the plate, they simply prefer such market food and hotel food. Arre, half a kilo of buttermilk, 100 grams of butter, and four rotis or pav. See how you end up. How healthy can your body be? These things are not there now. We are talking about village things. In the villages, healthy food was four rotis from the hearth, and people drank half a kilo or a kilo of buttermilk, and went about strong and robust. Here now, in the morning there is just bed tea. You get up in the morning and do not know when morning is, whether it is 10 o'clock or 11 o'clock.

This is the sunrise rise. Getting up at sunrise increases energy and strength in us. Intellectual power grows, and our lifespan increases. While we are sleeping at sunrise, nearly everyone sleeps until 10 or 11 o'clock. There are a rare few satsangis who are coming a little under control. Who gets up at 4:00? Nobody gets up at 4:00. They sleep at 2:00. They stay awake until 2:00 at night and then sleep. They get up at 10 or 11. Now tell me, who gets up at 4 o'clock among those who get up at 4?

Yes, let's see, two, three, four hands went up here. At 3:30, and at 1:00 we get up. We get up at 1:00. Yes, we should get up and earn our wealth. We should earn the wealth of God's naam. Because, friend, we have to die. Money will not go with us, family will not go with us, the house will not go with us. Your bhajan will go with you, and you will remain happy. That is why we say this emphatically, and we give our own example: that if one can stay joyful even in such problems, it is possible only by staying in the refuge of God, by chanting God's naam. Everyone is troubled. So if our intellect is pure, we can be happy ourselves and make others happy. Now, how will the intellect become pure?

It will come through good conduct. How will good conduct come about? When we chant God's naam, when we connect with spirituality, when we listen to the words of the sants and follow the words of the sants, only then. Otherwise, how will the intellect become pure? Nowadays everyone has a mobile phone, and they watch dirty, filthy things. Dirty thoughts come. They do dirty, filthy actions. That is why people keep falling further and further. Whether it is a child, a girl, an old man, or a young man. Now, sometimes in private, our own mother and father behave in dirty ways in front of us.

That means a mother with another man, and a father with another woman. Now what is our duty? Now tell me, a young child asks such a question. Now what answer should we give? What answer should we give? How should our society remain well-ordered? People are committing dirty acts with little girls. They are committing violence like animals. They burned little girls in fire. What kind of intellect is this? This intellect of society will improve only when spirituality enters, when religion enters their skulls. Only then will they understand. Now they are becoming demons. That is, they behave in such ways that, when one thinks about it, one feels how the tendencies of such a terrible decline are growing.

Young boys, young girls, there is no celibacy, no dharma. They act as they please. That is why we feel: listen to spirituality. Walk on the path of dharma. Keep your senses under control. Chant the naam, and you will find joy.

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Original video: Bhajan Marg (YouTube)