Pujya Premanand Ji Maharaj's Life Journey | From Kashi to Vrindavan

भजन मार्ग (पूज्य महाराज जी के सत्संग से) · 2025-08-27

Leaving Home at Thirteen Years of Age

When I left home, my search began. Two or three days later, my elder brother came first. I sent him back with a stern reply. Then my father came. He had a very stern nature—a righteous man, a farmer who ploughed barefoot, who in his entire life wore neither shoes nor stitched clothes. When he reached me, I thought now I would be beaten.

Father Came to Take Me Back

He said, "Stand up." I stood up. He said, "Why did you run away?" I said I want to worship the Lord and find him. He said, "Do you find the Lord through such worship? You don't find the Lord by wandering around destitute. The Lord is attained through sadhana, and it can happen while living in household life too."

I said, "I must worship with renunciation." As I said this, tears flowed from my eyes. I wanted him not to take me back home. In truth, no sorrow or problem had brought me here. I was only thirteen, studying in ninth grade, but from the impressions of past births, I had tasted the experience of attaining the Lord.

Then father embraced me and said three times, "Ram, Ram, Ram. My son, my son, even if you sit on barren land, flowers will still rain down upon you. This is my blessing." But he also warned, "If in life we hear that you have cast an impure glance upon any woman, this life will be wasted. If you are to become a saint, live such a life that we never receive such a complaint."

The Choice of the First Guru

Then he took me to my first sadguru, from whom I took diksha. He lived in a leaf hut in Saimsi. Guru Ji imposed strict rules on me. Many times I was not given food; others would receive sweets but not me. But my resolve was firm—I must attain the Lord, whatever trials come. A week later, Guru Ji gave me initiation into the Shiva mantra after a Ganga bath and said, "Son, as much as you do jap, so much knowledge you will gain." That alone became the foundation of my life.

Two years later, Guru Ji left his body. Then I became like an orphan. At fifteen or sixteen years of age, I met Sukhdev Ashram Ji Maharaj and he showed me the path ahead. I stayed with him for many years. Then I did sadhana in deep renunciation by the banks of the Ganga. I never kept a single rupee in my life, nor do I today.

The Banks of the Ganga and Kashi

Then I reached Kashi. There I felt—this is my dwelling place. I lived on the ghats, not in ashrams. Many days I would go hungry, but contentment remained. There the Lord inspired me, and gradually my direction turned toward Vrindavan.

In Kashi I had experienced completeness. There, sitting beneath the pipal tree, I would get the satsang of sants and it was only bliss. But when a sant took me to see the rasa leela, for the first time I felt from within—this is what I seek. I watched the rasa for a month and a powerful longing arose. Then it was decided—now I must go to Vrindavan.

The Grace of Vrindavan

It was never my intention to have darshan of Shri Radha. My mind was absorbed in bhakti to Shiva. But Vrindavan itself revealed its own desire upon me. The attraction toward the rasa, the longing for the Beloved—these were not my personal desires. It was all Vrindavan's desire, the Lord's plan.

Guru's Grace Alone

When I look back, it seems—if we fully surrender to the shelter of the guru and continue on the path he has shown, then all that follows is arranged by the Lord himself.