When the mind repeatedly takes you towards old habits you've given up and causes distress, what should you do?

Shri Hit Radha Keli Kunj, Vrindavan. A private conversation with Pujya Shri Hit Premanand Govind Sharan Ji Maharaj. Sadhaks put forward questions about their life and sadhana, and Maharaj Ji resolves them.

Full Discourse

Gaurav Pandey from Lucknow, Radha Vallabh, Shri Harivansh Maharaj, Maharaj Ji, I heard in the satsang from you that we can only do naam jap and besides this we cannot do anything; and if we can do something, then we can only harm ourselves. If we slip up, where will we fall? Where does our contemplation stand? What is the demand of our heart? Where does our vision go? If we have held firm, may the flood of grace keep us held.

Maharaj Ji, by your grace everything is going well, but sometimes the mind which has given up old habits is very strongly pulled towards them when worldly adversity comes. From this the mind troubles me, and I need to be freed from this very mind.

We are in constant struggle with new bad company and old conditioning. When we see something new, hear something, or come into contact with some indulgence, then the desire to enjoy it arises. The craving for new enjoyments and for past enjoyments—this is where the struggle begins. That experience felt pleasant. The mind wants to make us think about it and pull us towards it.

At that moment, say "No, not now!" Even though it will feel very bad to the mind, even though it will feel very bad, the burning it causes is spirituality itself. The person who is not overcome by the suffering given by the mind, who is not distressed by it—this means who is not defeated. For example, if at some point you wanted something that gave you pleasure, the mind will now compel you. If you say "It's wrong, I won't go"—then it will burn you. You won't be inclined to bhajan, you won't be inclined to anything. It will just keep asking the same question again and again: go there, go there. It will keep asking for the same indulgence again and again, saying to you repeatedly: no, no, even if you kill me, I won't go, do whatever you want—Radha, Radha, Radha!

It will burn for a while, then it will subside. Then when it arises again next time, the first time it burned for fifteen minutes. Now this time it will burn for ten minutes. Then five minutes, then two minutes, then it will become Radhe-Radhe forever. But you will need to have the capacity to endure its assault. Its nature is to agitate. Don't surrender to the mind. It's like this: everything else can wait. First let's eat this. First let's enjoy this. First let's drink this. First let's see this. That's its nature.

Enduring the nature of the mind—this is virtuousness.

sahit sahit baadh hai bhagat grih tan guru hitgar.
Through endurance comes the flood of grace in the devotee's home, body, and the guru's protective care.

When you can't endure anymore, cry out making God your witness: "O Lord, look at our plight. What is the mind doing? Lord, take charge. Give me strength." At that time call upon the Lord. At that time engage in naam kirtan. At that time listen to satsang. At that time talk with another sadhak.

In solitude it becomes very difficult to hold your ground. When the mind has fixed itself on some subject and you are in solitude—the mind will overcome you again and again. At that time you must find what will bring peace. Some scriptural study, some satsang listening, or sitting with a sadhak. If none of these, then loudly call out to God: Radha, Radha, Kishori Ju, He Lalu, He Prabhu, save me. My mind is like this because enduring it is very difficult.

Making excuses is easy, giving advice is easy, hearing advice is easy. But when this stubborn mind fixes itself on something, saying "I want this, I must experience this," then it becomes very difficult. Then it creates anxiety. It creates intense burning. It creates suffering. If nothing works, even your own intelligence will advise you: "Go ahead and do it. After today we'll never do it again. But just do it today. The mind will become peaceful." That's it—you're finished. Now you're trapped.

Then when peace comes, it will say "I won't do it again." But when temptation rises again, you won't be able to fight. You'll have to do it immediately. Then after losing two or four times, what will the mind say? "Now you can't possibly win. Just keep doing this." Then that soul will say: "Hey, we gave it up for a year, then we couldn't give it up, then we fell."

Don't give a chance to this first thing you've given up. If you give it a chance, it won't give you a chance to win. Understand this firmly: it will drain your whole life from you. And you won't have the courage to fight it. But once you learn to fight, once you defeat it even once, joy will arise within you: "Hey, we escaped from that thing, we escaped from that." Then you will be able to overcome every evil thing.

This is the matter of spirituality. You'll have to learn to endure a little in this.

matrasparshastu kauntey sheetoshnasukhduhkhdAh. Agmapayinonityastanstitikshaswa bharat ॥
The contacts of the senses produce heat and cold, pleasure and pain. These come and go and are transitory; endure them, O Bharat.

This—heat, cold, comfort, discomfort, gain, loss—these various things come and go. Desire, anger, greed—these tendencies come and go; they don't endure.

Therefore, O Arjun, endure them. They won't be pacified by enjoying them. Our senses are restless, the mind is subject to the senses, and the intellect is subject to the mind, so it too advises: "Enjoy!" And if the intellect is fixed in God, it will say: "No, it's wrong, we won't allow it." So if the intellect says no, the mind cannot do anything. But the mind is so powerful that it makes the intellect subservient and gets its signature. And it wanders arbitrarily with the senses.

Therefore do naam jap abundantly, listen to satsang, and learn to endure. One who has endured has moved forward; one who has broken down is scattered in the world. Just six or seven days ago this very thing happened—certain things which had been completely given up..

There were such things that happened, when I spoke about them, the mind kept pulling me back to those things again and again. Or rather, as you say, thoughts will come, then they create tendencies, then resolve arises—it had all already happened. Then I felt I would become corrupted, and I said to God, "Lord, I cannot do this, we will become corrupted." At that very moment, by the Lord's grace, the action could not be performed, and somehow I was saved.

Now, Maharaj Ji, it comes to my mind that through diksha, grace is flowing. Everything is happening only through your grace. Otherwise, I was not worthy at all. Where all we have fallen, only we know. Through your grace, Lord's grace—now the worship that has been given to us, we are able to do it through your grace, it is happening. But then fear has crept into my mind. After taking diksha, if later something like wrong action were to happen somehow..

This very fear will bring you down. This fear will bring you down. You should not fear. I would rather die than indulge in wrong conduct. I would die rather than engage in worldly pleasures. I would die rather than indulge. You do it, you do it again and again—I will never do it, never.

Step back and see: why have you become so cowardly? Why such fear? If you fear, it will strike you down. Understand this for certain. Do not fear the enemy. If you fear, then it will strike you. Then it will strike. You see, it creates anxiety about diksha. It will stop you from the true path. You must say: I would rather die. He is within. He is listening within. Make the resolve: I would die rather than do wrong. I will endure death rather than indulge. I will not do wrong conduct. Absolutely not.

It has a soft spot within. Yes, sometimes it might. Strike at that spot. No, never. Never. No, no, just step back. No, no, it will weaken you. It will make you weak. This is the war that goes on. And if you ask rightly, it only shows its effect from a distance. It cannot do anything to truly pull you in. Without your consent, it cannot do anything to you. It frightens you, threatens you, tempts you with pleasure, tempts you with peace of mind, tempts you with comfort, and it ensnares you—you sign the contract. Come on, we are lost, we are not saved. Now chant the naam. This art will come to you—the art of spirituality will come to you.

Do not worry. God is the protector of all. But the mistakes you commit—from now on, do not repeat them. Otherwise, it will keep corrupting you again and again. And one day it will come to your mind: I cannot proceed. I cannot proceed in spirituality. I am not worthy. Now what will be will be—do not think like this. Take refuge in God.

This text is from auto-generated captions of the video—there may be errors in the words. Please listen to the video for the authentic words.

Original video: Bhajan Marg (YouTube)