Fear at night when alone—feels like someone is standing behind—what should I do?

Shri Hit Radha Keli Kunj, Vrindavan—intimate conversation with Pujya Shri Hit Premanand Govind Sharan Ji Maharaj. Sadhaks bring their questions about life and sadhana, and Maharaj Ji guides them.

Complete discourse

Himanshu Joshi, Radha Vallabh, Shri Harivansh, Radha Vallabh, Shri Harivansh Maharaj Ji, Maharaj Ji—when I am alone at home at night I feel afraid. My mind is afraid—I am afraid of unknown things. My mind is afraid of unknown things. Even while doing worship, fear grips me.

Maharaj: Yes, to escape this fear is why we worship God. When there is no one with you, God is there, isn't He? When God is everywhere, then where you are, He is there too. Answer our question—God is everywhere, so at night when you are alone, God is there, isn't He? God is all-powerful, so He will protect you. Because you wear the kanthi, you are God's bhakt, you do naam jap. Why should you fear? Why fear? Death must come once—not twice. So however it comes, whenever and wherever it comes, it will come. So friend, become fearless. Why do you live in fear? What are you afraid of? I don't know. When I do the aarti, it feels like someone is standing behind me. I keep turning to look back again and again.

Arrey, control your mind. Don't let it disturb you. This is a very dangerous mind. Never think like this. When you are doing the aarti, think: the one whose aarti I am doing—He stands behind, He is watching. Sometimes there is that bhav. The great Maharaj and you—He stands behind. Sometimes the bhav changes. Then fear comes—someone is there—and you have to keep looking back. God is there. At that time the chakra is God. I have become very troubled.

Why are you troubled, child? Why are you troubled? Vachans are being left undone. This troubles my mind greatly. My mind even makes me behave willfully.

Our intention keeps breaking. The answer to all our questions is naam jap, because in naam jap there is immeasurable power. Look, child—when we were young we ran away from home. The banks of the Ganga were a very wild place. When fear came, we would do naam jap of God. Then slowly, slowly we became so fearless that corpses were being dragged and dogs were eating them, and we too lay there peacefully on the banks of the Ganga. No fear that someone would bite me—because I know if they are to bite, they will bite. No matter where I run, they will bite. And if they are not to bite, I will remain lying among them. They won't bite. It has never happened otherwise. So be fearless. There are bhoot-pret on the banks of the Ganga, don't they? There are cremation grounds. But nothing ever happens.

If there is sin, we must suffer punishment. Even without a bhoot, a bhoot will possess you—just as it has possessed you. Someone is standing behind. Now how much fear—you are about to sleep, and someone is standing behind. Now neither will you sleep nor will that. You cannot go to the field alone, you cannot go alone. There is nothing. This is illusion. There is nothing. Where you feel fear, stand there and say: Radha, Radha. Who is there? There is nothing. O mind, this is empty illusion. Look, how many times have I struck the mind? I try very hard. And increase naam jap. Increase naam jap. This is some samskara from the past that is troubling you.

It is ignorance and nothing else. Yes, do naam jap. Do naam jap. And we will tell you—you read Hindi or do you also read Sanskrit? You can read Sanskrit. If you do, then for two or four months, recite the Narasimha Stotra, then tell us. Once you are with Narasimha, you don't have much desire to read other things. No, take medicine. Just as there is a doctor—if someone else tells you, you refuse, saying: Brother, our guru said, and when we ourselves are telling you to recite the Narasimha Stotra—the one in whose praise Prahlad stood—then see. A little support is needed now. Just as with medicine—if change is not possible, say, this powder is the final one, but so, take this for support—so now you do the Narasimha Stotra for support. Completely fearless. When Narasimha Bhagwan is remembered, even great fears are destroyed.

Our Shri Krishna is something else, isn't He? You haven't entered the rasa yet. If you had, this state would not happen. Even understanding from Kaal: "In the refuge, one fears not Kaal. Fear is given as gift. The troubles of birth and death all decrease. Again and again, new love and bonds of karma are cut." So you don't have that state yet. So recite the Narasimha Stotra with Hindi, or if you cannot do Sanskrit, do Hindi alone. Or if you do both Sanskrit and Hindi, try it. Two or four months, and then tell us. And remember this from today—a firm thing—remember that we are with you.

You should not be afraid. When you feel afraid, remember this. It will be on YouTube. Save it. Listen to it again and again. We are with you. We are with you. So when fear comes, turn it on. We are with you. Okay? Don't be afraid. Be completely without fear, be joyful. Krishna Shri Rana Ji, Radhe Radhe, Shri Harivansh, Radha Bol, Shri Harivansh Maharaj Ji, Maharaj Ji.

After intense devotion to the Lord, in dreams I see the leelas of Shyama and Shyam. There is yearning, longing in my heart—when will I receive the vision of the Lord Himself? Maharaj Ji, I always get motivation watching your Instagram reels, so I have great love for you, Maharaj Ji. When will tears come for the Lord? When will I see Him? There is such yearning. Naam jap, naam jap—this is the essence of all these things. The more you do naam jap, the more the form of the Nami will reveal itself. See, form, naam, sadhna. If you are, you are—who are you? To know this, naam itself will make it known. Your naam—when it is uttered—look, your mouth—naam alone knows the form. No one else knows. The form of our beloved—Shyama Shyam's form.

That form is contained within the naam. No artist has the capacity for it. Because it is not a color in the first place. The Shyam color that is in the Lord's divine body does not exist as a color in creation. Because creation was made from the three-fold illusion, and the Lord's body is sat-chit-anand. So the Shyamness in the Lord's form does not exist in creation. And Priya's golden complexion—no amount of ink or paint can capture it. The beloved adorned with infinite lightning and radiance and crimson hue—such comparisons of Her limbs and their redness to the sapphire, the sapphire-like, Shyam the enchanting—these are only examples of the sapphire stone, but the sapphire is natural while the Lord is chit-anand, so that form is contained within the naam.

When we chant the naam, as I have described—through meditation on leela, singing of leela, and such—even in dreams of Shyama Shyam—when you sit and chant the naam like this, the glimpse of Priya Preetam will come before you. Then you will know that our naam is bringing the form. Chant the naam abundantly. First it will burn away sins. It will eliminate misfortunes. Then it will give a glimpse of the form, and you will become enchanted. Then the bliss that awakens cannot be described. Yes, the mind keeps sinking deeper and deeper within. And when the thirst for the form awakens—

The thirst for the form cannot be contained. Crying out and weeping, the longing for Krishna's darshan, the longing for the Lord's vision makes them cry out and weep. Because they feel, what will become of me now? I have no means. And He is not appearing. Now what can I say, and to whom? So when they become helpless, weeping is all that comes. Then when they cry out and call like this, they attain the Lord's vision.

Maharaj Ji, I was experiencing depression. Watching your reels, I became motivated. Today I have a new life—only and only through your Instagram reels am I alive today.

Be very, very careful. Never think such things now. Because this life is for the Lord, child. There is no solution to problems except a good life. Look now—see how beautifully you are living, how beautiful a life it is that you are living the Lord's life. And where do these dirty thoughts come from? The biggest dirty talk is the greatest sin—what filthy thoughts came into this mind? What has this mind been taught? This is the truth: without satsang, life becomes meaningless, and the whole life goes to waste. Be very careful and chant the naam.

Do good conduct. Bring happiness to others.

This text is taken from auto-generated captions of the video—there may be errors in words. Please listen to the video for the authentic discourse.

Original video: Bhajan Marg (YouTube)